When family visits attack

I love my family. I really and truly do. It kills me that they are all a minimum of a four hour drive away from me. And when I really get homesick, the best thing in the world is to get a call from them saying that they are coming to visit.

However, that leads into the flip side of the coin...eating once they get here.

I don't have a huge place, and we eat dinner in the living room for lack of a better option. So when my family comes to visit, we usually go out to eat simply because there isn't a ton of room for everyone to eat. Also because my dad is the pickiest eater to ever grace this earth. I mean, seriously, a man who doesn't eat cheese? Do you have any idea how many foods that rules out?

So when my parents called to say that they were coming to visit this past weekend, I got really excited. I've been really homesick and really wanted to see them. But I immediately started thinking about plans regarding where to eat out.

After my parents assuring me that they were going to stop for dinner before arriving to my house on Saturday night, and that they were going to leave on Monday afternoon, I figured that all I needed to do was make plans for Sunday. If I could get Sunday handled, I'd be in the clear.

Much like a fat chick, there are few things that my father loves more than a buffet. For some unknown reason, he's just drawn to them. Maybe it's that he can pick and choose what he likes and build his own finicky meal that way. Maybe it's because it's mostly down home comfort foods. Maybe it's just that he can eat to the point of having to unbutton his pants for $9.99. At any rate, this man is a buffet aficionado.

So I figured that on Sunday, we would eat at Golden Corral. Which is fine with me, because I mastered the Weight Watchers buffet attack plan months ago. First, I make plates for both of my sons, which gives me time to scope out the offerings. Then, I make myself a salad, going easy on the high point stuff. The salad takes the edge off my appetite so that when I get to the hot food, I'm not turned into a ravenous eating machine that fills my plate to the point of overflowing. I put things on my plate that I know are not high point foods. Then, if I'm still hungry, I allow myself to go back and get small servings of the no-no foods. That way, if I get those foods last, the chances that I'll be able to hold them are slim to none.

So when my parents got back to my house from church on Sunday, I asked my dad if he wanted to go out to eat for lunch, or if he wanted to stay at home and eat something. Of course, per usual, he wanted to go out to eat, and he wanted lunch to be the "big meal." I was poised for a Sunday lunch visit to Golden Corral. I could practically taste the sizzling steak fresh from the grill.

Then I heard my father say, "I don't want to go all the way into town. Let's eat somewhere close by."

I am not a person who likes to be rattled. I like it when I know how things are going to go and what to expect. My brain scrambled to come up with a place nearby that would both satisfy my dad and keep me from blowing my whole daily points allowance at one meal.

My dad suggested a country cooking restaurant, and much to my horror, I heard myself say, "We could try it." We could try it? I doubted that there was anything on the menu that wouldn't make my arteries scream for mercy. My mind was reeling, and I was desperately trying to reach out and grab a thought, hoping for a suggestion that would save the day.

"How about the Captain's Galley?" I heard myself spit out, without even knowing the words were coming.

"What's that?" my dad asked, and I knew that there was a distinct possibility that I could sway him in my direction.

"It's a seafood place, but they have steaks and chicken and pasta and lots of other stuff," I hurriedly answered, hoping for the gods to shine upon me.

"Let's go there," dad said, and the angels rejoiced.

So for lunch that day, I had a great dinner of broiled Canadian flounder, baked potato, and a minimal amount of the heavenly hush puppies that they sit on the table in huge bowls and refill until you're about to pop.

With lunch behind us, I had to turn my thoughts to dinner. I knew that my dad would not let me cook anything for him that evening, but I also knew that we would have to eat again at some point. Not really knowing which way his tendencies would lean, I was at a loss for a plan.

Later that evening, we all started getting hungry again. I asked the question once more, again dreading the answer I would receive. "Where would you like to eat?"

His reply, "How about just picking up something at a drive-thru?"

And once again, the angels rejoiced.

See, I've mastered the drive-thru. I know what items I can eat without guilt from all of the Big Ones. I asked Dad and Mom what they wanted, took my orders, and headed out to pick it all up. I went to Taco Bell and picked up a Zesty Chicken Border Bowl (no dressing) and a couple of crunchy tacos. Very satisfying, very filling, and very points friendly.

I'm happy to report that I ate out twice with my parents, and only went 3.5 over my daily points.

Can you hear the angels? "HAAAALAAAAAALLLUUUUJAAAHHHH!"